With county matches starting this evening I figured it was time for the yearly mock trial case summary (see last year’s). This case, which already has all the makings of a good Hollywood drama, doesn’t need quite as much fleshing out, but I’ve done my best.
The whole entertainment industry is pleasantly suprised to discover on the morning of June 5th that renowned producer Jes Markson has been found dead on the floor of his Hollywood mansion. Markson, who himself had been tried and acquitted for the murder of his wife two years earlier, had stepped on many toes over the course of his career; one publicist observed that “it seemed like everyone in Hollywood would have loved to see Jes dead.”
Justice, however, must be served, and police quickly identify evidence indicating that Markson’s murderer is none other than his estranged former pool girl Alex Palmer. Palmer moved out of his house two months earlier upon discovering that Markson had stolen a script she had written and published the idea as his own. Palmer, marginally employed and unable to afford counsel, receives an offer for pro-bono representation from a high-profile law firm. The Los Angeles District Attorney’s office braces itself for an epic fight.
Testifying for the prosecution:
Detective Dana Brown, the demanding leader of the police investigation squad. A lifetime sufferer of obsessive-compulsive disorder, Detective Brown has achieved success through her meticulous examination procedure and relentless attention to detail. On the morning Markson’s house is searched, though, Brown is preoccupied with concerns about her impending divorce, and accidentally contaminates a piece of crucial evidence. Never one to deviate from protocol, she dutifully reports her mistake in the record but fears that her career may be over.
Carter Cravin, the 911 caller and first to discover Markson’s body. Cravin, who runs his family catering business, is an energetic, flamboyant man with a taste for brightly colored cravats and designer shoes and a well-known figure in the Hollywood queer community. Cravin testifies to seeing Alex Palmer standing outside the Markson residence on the night of the murder at the time when Palmer claims to have been asleep. But evidence also emerges of Cravin’s more-than-platonic fascination with the actress London Desmond, and he is soon forced to furiously fight rumors that Carter Cravin might actually be straight.
London Desmond, Markson’s girlfriend. Desmond knew she would raise eyebrows when, at the tender age of 19, she began dating the 38-year-old Markson, and struggled to retain the wholesome image on which her career was founded. Since her star role in the 2004 hit Jagged Eclipse, London has been interested in Mesoamerican civilization, astronomy and firearms, and was quite excited to discover an adorable little pistol on Alex Palmer’s nightstand in March.
Dr. Lee Stark, forensic scientist and leader of the lab that processed the evidence from the Palmer case. Dr. Stark, happily married with two children, had a brief affair with her former classmate Robert Kelso in early 2001, and he has since blackmailed her into promoting his controversial “Memory Mapping Test” for use in criminal trials. Dr. Stark, though herself dubious about the test’s accuracy, is forced to defend it in court in order to safeguard her own reputation.
For the defense:
Stevie Ricco, studio executive, industry insider and provider of lysergic acid diethylamide par excellence to the Hollywood elite. Ricco testifies that Palmer came to her on the night of Markson’s murder to discuss possible recourse for Markson’s theft of the script, but Ms. Ricco, who has herself had several affairs with Markson in past years, is loathe to become too heavily involved in his defense and remains silent about exactly how much she knows.
Adrian Chase, London’s publicist. Upon discovering her talent when London was a young girl, Chase devoted her business exclusively to London’s promotion. She was horrified by the scandal that could be caused by her client’s relationship with Jes Markson, and fought to keep the two out of the tabloids. Upon hearing of Markson’s death from Carter Cravin, she ran to the house before the police arrived and removed several pieces of evidence showing Markson and Desmond’s relationship, going so far as to remove a watch from Markson’s cold, limp wrist. The police found out, and Chase was arrested for obstruction of justice. London Desmond called to fire her shortly afterwards, and Chase has yet to forgive her.
Dr. J.B. Schrute, expert witness and criminologist. The current Dr. Schrute, who is actually a man named Bernard Higgins, kidnapped the original Jedediah Bertrand Schrute and has taken his place in society for reasons known only to him. Nobody has noticed. Unfortunately, Mr. Higgins knows nothing about forensic science and it remains to be seen whether or not he will be able to keep up his masquerade as the trial progresses.
Finally, Alex Palmer, the defendant herself. An individual of almost astonishing mediocrity in everything she undertakes, Palmer gets by by attaching herself to the successful people around her like a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity. Once a slavishly devoted follower of Markson, she became furious upon discovering his betrayal and moved out of his house and (she claims) on with her life. But when the show became a hit her fury was renewed, and she went back to Markson demanding to know what was going to be done for her. The next day, Markson was found dead.
We await the verdict.
Ra
on Saturday 01 March, 2008 at 2:10:47 pm
HAHA.
This was hilarious. I was london desmond. And I resent that. I was 24, not 42. I’m not a case for pedophiles, thanks.